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about

I wrote this song when I was a freshman in college. It was one of those tunes that came out at 3 in the morning when I couldn’t sleep. I remember playing and singing it super quietly so I wouldn’t wake up my roommates.

Lyrically, the song is about a hopeless crush and trying to sort out whether or not I had a chance.

Originally, I envisioned the song as sort of a early Radiohead style acoustic power ballad like “Fake Plastic Trees.”

As I started recording it and adding elements, it morphed into something a lot more along the lines of Beach House’s “Silver Soul” and if I’m being perfectly honest, there’s a little bit of Yo Gabba Gabba influence thrown in there.

Some of the elements included are the lo-fi drum machine, the weepy sounding slide guitar, the soft churchy organ, and the heavy reverb effects on the vocals, which are both double tracked and song at octaves. There’s also some interesting spacey synth parts including a really disjointed blippy solo I played by clicking the notes on the screen with my mouse.

This was really left field for me in terms of trying something I’ve never done before. I think the results are pretty satisfying.

lyrics

She’s got a perfect smile and she never has the time to see
I’m feeling so alone. I’m withered on my own and she’s not home

Living through the days where everything just floats away into
The corner of my mind and could you be so kind to let me know

Better days are on their way again
And having you there lets me know
That I won’t have to take it on my own
And I’m still acting out my last apology

I’m sick of guarantees and always feeling incomplete, it seems
To hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m dreaming when my time is running thin

She is my only choice cuz when I listen to her voice it’s like
A sparrow in the wind. She whispers out my name and I give in

Being with you I can be myself
And I don’t have to act so strange
Well you won’t ever have to stand alone
And I’m still acting out my last apology

Better days are on their way again
And having you there lets me know
I’m sick of always feeling out of time
And I’m still acting out my last apology

credits

from 50 Songs in 50 Weeks, released December 31, 2012
Jake Haws: Vocals, Acoustic and Electric Guitars, Drum Machine, Organ, Synths

Podcast Episode: jakehaws.com/ep-6-song-apology-influenced-by-beach-house/

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Jake Haws Springville, Utah

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