50 Songs in 50 Weeks

by Jake Haws

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1.
04:42
The bright lights, the explosions in the sky All the comfort of a picnic on a warm summer evening in July A parade marches down the street All the people exchanging friendly greetings, rearranging the order Well I’m leaving, on the 4th of July, On the 4th of July, I’m leaving Wooden stands, all the children bumming quarters off their parents Sipping cold lemonade from a paper cup, it’s so sweet Well we’re broke, we spent that last $20 on explosives Now we’re wandering around every corner of their town Looking for newer forms of entertainment Well I’m leaving, on the 4th of July, On the 4th of July, I’m leaving Then I came to the next town over All the kids in the city, they were pretty tired of the disorder All the pain of cleaning up the decorations, Well I guess it went well so we can bottle up and sell it to the next town Well I’m leaving
2.
When I was young, things used to be so easy I never had to worry about a thing When I was young, I used to have crazy dreams Like I could fly a rocket into space Well don’t leave me now, my love Don’t leave me now, my love Don’t leave me now, I’m on my knees Cause I don’t want to be another person afraid to see That what we are is what we’ll always be And I don’t want to see another day where I have to be Something that I know I can not be, I guess we’ll see When I young, I looked up to everything Cause everything seemed wonderful to be When I was young, I went for walks in the dark To see if there was something in the trees Well don’t leave me now, my love Don’t leave me now, my love Don’t leave me now, I’m on my knees Cause I don’t want to be another person afraid to see That what we are is what we’ll always be And I don’t want to see another day where I have to be Something that I know I can not be, I guess we’ll see
3.
Every passing moment spent, my whole world is caving in Truth evolves in subtle ways, changing slowly every day In a thousand years from now, drifting to a smaller town I can’t find the meaning in, words replaced with ignorance Breaking from the myth that kept us down so many years Everything erased, exactly how it was before the golden age Lost inside a crowded street, voices always fail to speak Comfort from the safest place leaves another another vacant space Breaking from the myth that kept us down so many years Everything erased, exactly how it was before the golden age Before the golden age
4.
04:19
The days were passing by I can see them now and I was living life outside on my own I was wrong when I lied Please be strong and let it all outside again The nights were calling me How I tried to sleep and I was living life outside on my own I was wrong when I lied Please be strong and let it all outside again And I can’t complain Cuz I still remain And I can’t explain Why I still remain outside
5.
Waiting for the right time to speak Staring at the ceiling trying to sleep And I’ll pray for you I will pray for you Sitting in the darkness by your side Hiding all the thoughts up in my mind And I’ll say to you I will be your friend It’s just a chance we take without ever really knowing how it ends I’ll be there for you I will be your friend It’s just a chance we take without ever really knowing how it ends It’s just a chance we take without ever really knowing how it ends
6.
04:17
She’s got a perfect smile and she never has the time to see I’m feeling so alone. I’m withered on my own and she’s not home Living through the days where everything just floats away into The corner of my mind and could you be so kind to let me know Better days are on their way again And having you there lets me know That I won’t have to take it on my own And I’m still acting out my last apology I’m sick of guarantees and always feeling incomplete, it seems To hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m dreaming when my time is running thin She is my only choice cuz when I listen to her voice it’s like A sparrow in the wind. She whispers out my name and I give in Being with you I can be myself And I don’t have to act so strange Well you won’t ever have to stand alone And I’m still acting out my last apology Better days are on their way again And having you there lets me know I’m sick of always feeling out of time And I’m still acting out my last apology
7.
I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I want it so bad I don’t know why Searching for answers I just wanna cry Tell me what it is I can do for you I just want you to notice that I’m there I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I wanted so bad to hear your voice I was convinced there was no choice You get to the point where you no longer see Our greatest thoughts and mysteries have nothing to do with me I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do An hour later you stop on by And waste my time again with another lie Tell me what it is I can for you I just want you to notice that I’m here I waited for you the whole night through I waited for you and I don’t know what to do I waited for you I waited for but it’s too late and I just wanna cry
8.
You think by now I’d have learned my lesson To never buy into the lies You’ll go far with ambition they told me And it never hurts to keep trying But there are things beyond my control My ambition is digging a hole Up again at 2:30 in the morning My wandering mind just can’t sleep There’s gotta be a better way to make use of my time The story can’t stay incomplete Because there’s things beyond my control My restlessness is taking a toll You can keep on telling me that there’s somewhere I should be But I still fall short of the goal Maybe in the morning I will put it all into perspective and maybe I will see a better day then I predicted But there’s things beyond my control Pessimism is taking a toll Now I’m waiting for my day to come The calendar changes but it’s never the one
9.
04:01
You say that I have seen a ghost And I’ve become too naive to know And it’s too late to alter my fate I don’t wanna hear your predictions Take me down the road where I left off I don’t wanna hear your predictions When you tell it like it is again And now I walk a path unknown It takes me time to stop these crimes I don’t wanna hear your predictions Take me down the road where I left off I don’t wanna hear your predictions When you tell it like it is again And you tell it like it is again
10.
All the fictional heroes saving fictional cities From disasters that only television can make Then as I’m watching the villains stepping right in the way I keep saving myself from making bigger mistakes Give me a reason to watch then everything is fine by me And the fictional victims are attempting to flee From the big budget disaster that’s so hard to believe Looking for something to keep them in a safe place again And I’m hiding away in places I’ve never been But if we cover our tracks then there isn’t a chance they’ll find me And it never is what it seems Until we’re watching the final scene And the fictional heroes talk As if there’s nothing wrong at all And a fictional murder keeps me dieing again and yet I’m feeling alive more than I ever have been I’m stepping out of a conflict and resolving the plot And all the fictional people think I’m something I’m not They say that people can change but they never move more than an inch As we act out the final scene It seems the plot is still incomplete And the fictional heroes talk As if there’s nothing wrong at all And it never is what it seems Until we’re watching the final scene And the fictional heroes talk As if there’s nothing wrong at all
11.
Today I’m gonna drift away And I know that I can’t stay and live with myself Only one thing is sure in my mind I needed your love everyday And I know it’s my mistake I’ll have to live with And I hope it’s not too late to be there So change my design and keep me in mind Please decide the fate of my heart And keep me in mind I’m leaving behind Any doubts I had in my heart Well if I was wrong then I Hope you’ll move on your own Without any pain If you need me I will be waiting when you call But in time you’ll see all the while You needed me to be in your arms And I noticed your burning inside So change my design and keep me in mind Please decide the fate of my heart And keep me in mind I’m leaving behind Any doubts I had in my heart In my heart In my heart In my heart In my heart In my heart So change my design and keep me in mind Please decide the fate of my heart And keep me in mind I’m leaving behind Any doubts I had in my heart Please decide the fate of my heart Please decide the fate of my heart
12.
03:20
Hello Hello, Where are you? Step into the plane The plans are all arranged Hello Hello, Where are you? A Million miles away And not a bit delayed All the time I spent away has made a change I always thought that it would be a big mistake I was wrong All of the chance, all of the doubt The plane is crashing down Survivors bailing out Gather around, Gather around The rescue’s on it’s way The story’s getting out Situations turn around and make a change I always thought that it would be a big mistake Looking back through time is such a waste Cause moving forward I can find A destination leading to place in the cloud All the times that I have failed to work things out Change who you are Cause it don’t mean a thing if you don’t get to far I guess we’ll see Hello Hello, Where are you? A Million miles away And not a bit delayed
13.
We’re all, we’re all here begging on our knees for you Silent, silent spaces left for us to wonder I needed more, my time has come Again I cry What can I do, I need someone to tell me why Falling, falling faster I think I lost my place Happily, ever after a smile on your face I needed more, my time has come Again I cry What can I do, I need someone to tell me why I needed more, my time has come Again I cry What can I do, I need someone to tell me why I needed more, I needed more I needed more, I needed more
14.
04:08
I am feeling all alone when you’re not there And I am feeling safe all alone and I’m not scared And now I’ve gone too far I can’t go back I am feeling all alone when you’re not there And I am feeling safe all alone and I’m not scared And now I’ve gone too far I can’t go back Must have been a lonely day I can hardly speak at all And I see you waiting there Fade away until I’m gone Must have been a lonely day I can hardly see at all But I see you waiting there Fade away until I’m gone Until I’m gone
15.
05:05
Hello to me, to say I know To want and dream, your need to fall For you I die, the tears we cry I know your face all too well You never know why we came You never know what to say I finally found that I was much more than I can be alone To speak and sign Your heart will try I wanted nothing but the best for you I am so in love with you And I don’t think it will ever pass I want you so bad but I don’t know what to say Well I can’t be with you You never know why we came You never know what to say I finally found that I was much more than I can be alone alone alone In space you hide, the dark your guide The pain it brings to end with goodbye
16.
04:16
Watching the sun rise Nothing’s quite the same Shadows fade away The light dries up the rain You wonder who you are You seem to be alright Tell me now, how is the sky over me How are the stars over me How are the birds over me How are the clouds over me Everywhere you go You stop and say hello Just wanted to belong A place to call your home You wonder who you are You seem to be alright Tell me now, how is the sky over me How are the stars over me How are the birds over me How is this love over me Anything you want Anything you want Anything you want Anything you want is yours
17.
06:23
Give me one more try to make things right, I’ll make it up to you And I will be right where I belong, For a night or two, yeah How far we go depends on you Whether I’m right or wrong How far we go depends on you And I’m standing by There’s no wall to walk behind There’s no place for me to hide When I’m away from you There’s no wall to walk behind There’s no place for me to hide When I’m away from you Turn me inside out define the flaws and pinpoint the lies, And you’ll never doubt that I was wrong Never wonder why, yeah How far we go depends on you Whether I’m right or wrong How far we go depends on you And I’m standing by There’s no wall to walk behind There’s no place for me to hide When I’m away from you There’s no wall to walk behind There’s no place for me to hide When I’m away from you We always dreamed that there was more But we’d never find the door, To escape from here There’s no wall to walk behind There’s no place for me to hide When I’m away from you
18.
The days pass and I’ve gone nowhere I sit and let you talk to me When will I get to know you You said I guess we’ll see The days keep getting longer The sun keeps shinning in your eyes Stay, stay with me tonight. We can’t walk away from this today I don’t know where I’ll go tomorrow Til I know I’m go and ready I’ll sit here and wait I’ll sit here and wait I should have seen it coming I thought that everything was alright Stay, stay with me tonight. We can’t walk away from this today I don’t know where I’ll go tomorrow Til I know I’m go and ready I’ll sit here and wait I’ll sit here and wait
19.
Valentine’s Day I was so anxious that I sighed I’ve never seen a face so beautiful It’s like the day that we first met There’s not a chance that I’ll forgot the way The way you had that look in your eyes You are the one I love I want to spend the rest of my life living by your side You know that you are the one I love And every single day I try to give my heart away to you Did you keep all the letters that I wrote while I was away? There are so many things for me to say Do you remember the Rose Gardens at Thanksgiving Point? Oh I never will forget that night Don’t be afraid I’ll keep you safe You are the one I love I want to spend the rest of my life living by your side You know that you are the one I love And every single day I try to give my heart away to you I do
20.
03:15
I got one eye open while I'm trying to sleep The baby keeps crying I can't get a wink So I'm waiting for you, love It's your turn to get up Rocking this boy past quarter to three The kid won't rest he's got somewhere to be So I'm I'm rocking the night away I can sleep it off in the day At least I think so Well if the chance I would do it again Cause I ain't gonna spend my life complainin' Yes I won't It takes a lot work to let the children play But I guess it's just the price that you gotta pay to be a dad The kid keeps crawling around the house And has an accident on the wife' favorite blouse But it's gonna be okay I didn't like that one anyway. Keep wanting to go to the park And won't come home until it's after dark Well I'm calling out your name I love you all the same but you're still grounded Well if the chance I would do it again Are you really sure you wanna have another kid Well I do It takes a lot work to have the bills get paid But I guess it's just the price that you gotta pay to be a dad Even though you're cranky I still love you, dad Your clothes are out of style and you aren't half bad well I need some advice to get me through this life Your kids will get older before you know Your skin will get wrinkly and your hair will show it You're approaching the grave I'll take of you just the same I love you, dad.
21.
04:09
Out walking on a lonely day Ain’t never gonna go my way Cause the moment has come and passed And there’s nothing but delays I don’t mind I don’t mind It’s gonna be lonely day So tell me it’s okay But I don’t know It’s raining on a cloudy day There’s water on the window pane And I can’t see through this mess Cause I’ve lost the clarity But I don’t mind I don’t mind It’s never gonna be today When is it gonna go my way? I don’t know Well maybe it’s all pretend And maybe I don’t know where I am for you And I can’t see what you need I don’t know what you need I don’t know what you need It’s never gonna be today When is it gonna go my way? I don’t know Well maybe it’s all pretend And maybe I don’t know where I am for you There’s no one left to blame for all of my mistakes All of my mistakes It’s gonna be lonely day So tell me it’s okay But I don’t know
22.
04:27
Lit the fuse and blow it up It’s out of the ashes that we begin to pick things up You broke your leg, I lost my job It’s gonna take everything to get back how it was I Get By I Get By When I get back to your place To your place It doesn’t take anytime to find any empty space Was it love that caused this pain? And I don’t need anything to have my mind erased I Get By I Get By I Get By And it goes on and on and on and on and on I was wrong and you were right Time has a way of making the outcome turn out fine With better luck we’ll find a way To get at the heart of our problems and make them go away But I Get By I Get By I Get By And it goes on and on and on and on and on The beat goes on and on and on and on and on
23.
I was a lost little child until I found you then I knew You are the only one for me You are the only one I see In my life have I loved you If it’s right I will love you How can I what I’m feeling now I don’t know how The moment you looked this way I knew I was the only one to say In my life have I loved you If it’s right I will love you You’re like an angel from heaven Descending from the sky I’ve you since the day we meet Til the day we said goodbye How I can what you want me to be I guess we’ll see and I know You are the only one for me You are the only one I see In my life have I loved you If it’s right I will love you In my life have I loved you If it’s right I will love you
24.
04:20
Underneath the surface Struggling for air Stone tied to your ankle Skin is turning pale If I could reach you I would set you free Something keeps you down Help is reaching out Trapped beneath the surface Of a crystal clear sea Fell asleep with the fishes Motionless as can be If I could see you I would set you free Something keeps you down Help is reaching out
25.
02:24
All these years my wife has been good to me Through the times when I failed If you were under the present circumstances You’d know how it felt You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me No excuses for the way I had treated you What got into my head At the time I could not find a better way To put the demons to bed You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me You’ll have to wait for me
26.
When I was told I was one of those, no way, no way If I only know then I’d tried to meet you some way And I will grow and be so afraid, afraid When nothing I can do saves me from myself I fall away, only today What can I say I tried to be someone you only read about I tried to be someone that you would want Though I was told I don’t wanna know my fate, my fate If I only know I would try to meet you some day And I would grow and be so afraid, afraid When nothing I can do saves me from myself I tried to be strong but I only moved on from you So tell me I’m wrong and I’ll try to move on from you I fall away, only today What can I say I tried to be someone you only read about I tried to be someone that you would want, you would want I tried to be strong but I only moved on from you So tell me I’m wrong and I’ll try to move on from you I fall away, only today What can I say I tried to be someone you only read about I tried to be someone that you would want, you would want
27.
Hold me down, take away my pain Let it go, show me your apathy Washed right through, diseased soul to stay Empty space, no one understands your place Hold me down, release my consciousness Think it out, concentrated thoughts remain Sending me on my own You’re sending me on my own You’re so alive it’s killing me You’re so alive it’s killing me So unclear, so afraid So unclear, and so diseased Hold me down, take away my misery Enter now, open doors you await Sending me on my own You’re sending me on my own You’re so alive it’s killing me You’re so alive it’s killing me Able minds, Lost at sea Endless ways, so diseased
28.
04:09
29.
Everybody knows but only time can tell I still have left to show the cure for all my ails All your dreams were made from children’s lemonade Wrapped up in the cold, have stories left untold You only live a day, she never came my way I try so hard to remember, try so hard to remember Everything’s so strange, ignoring all the pain Ask me what you way, you’re wasting time away You only live a day, she never came my way I try so hard to remember, try so hard to remember
30.
03:22
31.
04:49
Night sky approaches on the horizon Fading underneath the hill I know the temperatures are dropping You know the wolves are out to kill Deep in the woods you find a shelter Deep in the woods you try to hide You hear the thunder and the lightning I don't wanna die, I'd much rather hide Be gone and then appear to you I'm sending out the search crews I finally found what I need Now bring'em back to me Night sky approaches on the horizon Fading underneath the hill You hear the footsteps and they're coming I don't wanna die, I'd much rather hide Be gone and then appear to you I'm sending out the search crews I finally found what I need Now bring'em back to me
32.
Never thought I wanted you so much And every wish I'm longing for your touch There's else for me to see, yeah Never thought I'd run and jump the gun Now I'm left and staring at the sun What else is there for me to be, yeah I must pretend in spite of who we are I must pretend and go about in my own way I am not here, how can this be I wish you'd all go away from me I am not here, how can this be, yeah Any moment I have felt the pain Seeing you with only me to blame There's nothing left for me to be, yeah Never thought I'd run and jump the gun Now I'm left and staring at the sun What else is there for me to be, yeah I must defend in spite of who we are I must defend and go about in my own way I am not here, how can this be I wish you'd all go away from me I am not here, how can this be, yeah Nobody knows the pain
33.
06:17
Watch out they're coming, Quickly shoving to the gate, What am I looking for, A missing key to the door of my fate. But I'm not aloud here, Not aloud here, Not aloud here today. Looking through the bars, I can see speeding cars as they roll on by, Then I realize that I've been on the inside this whole time, And it doesn't surprise my why. But I'm not aloud here, Not aloud here, Not aloud here today. Searching, what can you see, Seems that I have lost the key and it can't be found, I'm patiently waiting, slowly anticipating, But I'm not aloud. I'm not aloud here, I'm not aloud here, I'm not aloud here today.
34.
04:26
35.
03:38
36.
I can't celebrate when I know that your heart aches, But we can turn it around, I know that it's late but there's no time to debate, Cause every minute counts. Thinking of you like I do every year, Just lounging around wishing that you were near, So many obstacles stand in our way, Just wishing that you would stay. The promise that we made I am never gonna break, When you are out of town, I'm picturing a scene staring you right next to me, And we are lounging around. Thinking of you like I do every year, Just lounging around wishing that you were near, So many obstacles stand in our way, Just wishing that you would stay.
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03:20
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03:28
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03:44
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47.
03:29
48.
03:36
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03:08

about

50 original songs recorded over the course of 50 weeks and documented in the blog 50songsin50weeks.blogspot.com. Subscribe to the "Jake Haws Music Podcast" to hear the songs broken down track by track.

credits

released December 31, 2012

All songs written and performed by Jake Haws
All songs recorded at Jake's house except "The Golden Age" recorded at Studio Y and "Outside" and "Fictional Heroes" recorded at Muse Recording Studio.
Cover Photo by Melissa Dupree Haws
Design by Jake Haws

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Jake Haws Provo, Utah

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