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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Starting Over

by Jake Haws

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1.
I wake up in the night I got something deep on my mind I can see I was blind We can make the best of this life I feel good, I’m alive On this perfect day I’ve arrived Was I wrong or was I right? We can make the best of this life It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s about how much you care You don’t have to stand on your own And I won’t give up with when the rain starts falling now Don’t let it go, keep the dream alive and the passion burning inside I wake up in the night I got something deep on my mind I can see I was blind We can make the best of this life It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s about how much you care You don’t have to stand on your own And I won’t give up with when the rain starts falling now Don’t let it go keep the dream alive and the passion burning inside It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s not about how much you know It’s about how much you care It’s about how much you care You don’t have to stand on your own You don’t have to stand on your own
2.
Please erase the message on your answering machine Cause the words are jumbled in my head and isn’t what I mean I am starting over and I’m talking in reverse And you listen back at me as if I said something absurd Can I have a minute just to say what’s on my mind? I can sugar-coat it all to keep the criticism kind Sometimes I get that feeling that I’m talking off your ears And if you can find the time than I can keep it up for years (I’m saying) Please don’t leave me now I’m in the middle of figuring this out I’m just a little bit scared that you’ll walk out Because you wanted to be with someone other than me (I’m saying) Please don’t leave me now I’m in the middle of figuring this out I’m just a little bit scared that you’ll walk out Because you wanted to be with someone other than me, yeah Closing all the doorways, I am wandering the halls If this empty house has stories they are hanging on the walls Can’t tell the end from the beginning and I’m sorting out my thoughts And I got some work to do and some things to get across I am treading water and I’m stuck out in the deep end And the life guard is off duty and I’m struggling for air If I told you I was drowning, then would you not lend a hand? Cause I feel I’ve told this story now again and again and again Please don’t leave me now I’m in the middle of figuring this out I’m just a little bit scared that you’ll walk out Because you wanted to be with someone other than me (I’m saying) Please don’t leave me now I’m in the middle of figuring this out I’m just a little bit scared that you’ll walk out Because you wanted to be with someone other than me, yeah
3.
Not Easy 04:28
I have a hard time sleeping, too much on my mind Try to ease my burdens, if you could be so kind Did I ever matter? Did I make a dent? Now I’m second guessing, what it ever meant It’s not easy to see the forest from the trees It’s not easy to find the brighter side It’s not easy to be the hardest one to please It’s not easy to leave it all behind I pretend I’m laughing, at a terrible joke Just to keep from falling, try to find some hope I was only fishing, for a compliment Now I’m second guessing, what it ever meant It’s not easy to see the forest from the trees It’s not easy to find the brighter side It’s not easy to be the hardest one to please It’s not easy to leave it all behind It’s not easy to see the forest from the trees It’s not easy to find the brighter side It’s not easy to be the hardest one to please It’s not easy to leave it all behind It’s not easy to see the forest from the trees It’s not easy to find the brighter side
4.
Killing Time 03:27
Sun is up, the day begins Got my slapping down the snooze again Lazy head on the sheets I was sleeping through world war III Well I guess, I guess I’ll never be satisfied And I guess, I guess I’m only just killing time Mom and dad get off my back Reminding me of all the things I lack I don’t see the things you see I was busy watching MTV Well I guess, I guess I’ll never be satisfied And I guess, I guess I’m only just killing time Well I guess, I guess I’ll never be satisfied And I guess, I guess I’m only just killing time Hiding out in a tree Don’t know what it is you want from me I get home after work We started talking and you go berserk My Apple Watch is broke again While I’m waiting for the world to end Well I guess, I guess I’ll never be satisfied And I guess, I guess I’m only just killing time Well I guess, I guess I’ll never be satisfied And I guess, I guess I’m only just killing time
5.
I don’t wanna walk this path alone Stepping in the dark into the unknown Feeling like a ghost wherever we roam, we roam Scattering the ashes on the ground Watching as the plane is circling down Taking things slow this time around, around Walking backwards, floating through walls Feeling like a ghost Moving forward in the air now Feeling like a ghost I don’t wanna live life full of regrets Brushing all the problems off of my chest Feeling like I’m always failing the test, the test Scattering the ashes on the ground Watching as the plane is circling down Taking things slow this time around, around Walking backwards, floating through walls Feeling like a ghost Moving forward in the air now Feeling like a ghost
6.
Hiking around in the Utah desert The creek dried up in the burning weather Gone off the trail and map is missing Walking in circles we keep on pacing Down on our luck but we can’t help betting Said don’t look now but the sun is setting Temperature’s dropping, it’s nearly freezing It cuts to the bone this time of season Heaven help us get to where we’re going The moon is glowing Heaven help us find a way to home The path is unknown to us Off in the hills the wolves are howling Down in the dirt the snakes are crawling Gather the wood to start a fire Just a matter of time before the ranger finds us It’s hard to believe but keep on praying Try to be true to the things you’re saying Bless our souls may we keep on living Try to deserve the time we’re given Heaven help us get to where we’re going The moon is glowing Heaven help us find a way to home The path is unknown to us
7.
You think you’d be better off without me in your life Thought that we could make it as a husband and a wife I’m just standing by for you to take me back again I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand You keep saying that I missed the point of what you said Can we skip the part where you are stuck inside my head? I won’t stick around if you don’t want me as your man I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand Now you have the time to spend to go and chase your dreams When you get the thing you want it isn’t what it seems Cut off on my own I’m left to roam across the land I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand I know that I’ve made mistakes and often made you cry There were times I wish I hadn’t told you all those lies I just want what’s best for you I’m doing what I can I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand I’m so sorry that I didn’t understand
8.
At the end of my rope Feeling like I’m gonna choke You can only take so much before you break And you have to try to give before you take And take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take, yeah Schizophrenic, paranoid Stepping down into the void And I’m feeling like a rabbit in the headlights And you’re shooting for the kill, the blood is boiling in Your eyes, your eyes Your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes Your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes Your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes Your eyes your eyes your eyes your eyes, yeah I’m at the end of my rope I’m feeling like I’m gonna choke You can only take much before you break And you have to try to give before you take And take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take And take and take and take and take, yeah
9.
Someone Else 04:08
I wish I was someone else I’m so tired of being myself And I wish that I could take this baggage And put it on the shelf I wish I was somewhere else I’m so tired of being here Every day I get to thinking that I’m running out of years Pardon me, I’m trying to let it be Late at night still caught up in this fight Still I try, I’m so happy that you stopped by Let me speak my mind today These crazy thoughts, in time, will go away I wish I was someone else I’m so tired of being myself Everything has started piling up I’m feeling overwhelmed I wish I was somewhere else I’m so tired of living in hell Anyday I’ll hit the reset button You know it’s just as well All of me, I’m trying to let you see Hold on tight, there’s time to get this right Still I try, I’m so happy that you stopped by Let me speak my mind today These crazy thoughts, in time, will go away Pardon me, I’m trying to let it be Late at night still caught of in this fight Still I try, I’m so happy that you stopped by Let me speak my mind today These crazy thoughts, in time, will go away
10.
Wait For It 04:03
Wait for it, please be patient Wait for it, the day is coming Wait for it, wait for it Well I’m on my way back home And I’m on my way back home Pray for it, please be patient There’s no fear, when you start talking Pray for it, Pray for it Well you don’t have to stand on your own And you don’t have to stand on your own Well I’m on my way And I’m on my way And I’m on my way back home
11.
Well I never say a word All the things you haven’t heard All the stories won’t come out Never make it past my mouth I just keep it my mind On a loop to pass the time Like a stone I’m rolling down And I’m falling to the ground And I wanted you back home Cause I’m tired of being alone And I’m longing for your touch You can only take so much And I thought that I was strong But I wouldn’t last for long I can only blame myself When I couldn’t ask for help Coming around, coming around Well I never say a word All the things you haven’t heard All the stories won’t come out Never make it past my mouth When you’re at the hardest part It’s the only place the start With the fear I’ve always had, But it’s feeling not so bad Coming around, coming around Coming around, coming around

about

This is an album about getting through dark times and finding light at the end of the tunnel.

Between the pandemic and things happening in my personal life, it’s been a rough couple years. I’ve done a series of things to help improve my mental health and among them is songwriting. I’ve been more personal in my lyrics than I ever have in regards to how I’m feeling and what I’m going through. It’s been a challenge for me to be so vulnerable, but I hope sharing these snapshots in time will be beneficial to those listening. If you’re going through something similar, I hope it will help you feel less alone. Enjoy the album.

credits

released August 26, 2022

Written and Arranged by Jake Haws.

Recorded by Jake Haws at The Noise Orchard.

Performed by Jake Haws - Vocals, Acoustic and Electric Guitars, Ebow, Mandolin, Bass, Organ, Synthesizers, Tambourine, Shaker, Harmonica, Hand Claps, Harpsichord, Kaossilator, Drums, Drum Programming.

Drum samples provided by Circles Drum Samples.

Photography and Artwork by Melissa Dupree Haws.

This album was made possible by a grant provided by the Utah Division of Arts & Museums.

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Jake Haws Springville, Utah

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